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Friday, April 22, 2011

Ayah oh ayah

Sumpah wani tgh risau skg nie. Ayah ni buat wani cuak tau. Kenapa dia tak jage makan,kenapa die tak jage badan. Kan dah kne tahan kat wad. Ni kali pertama tau ayah bermalam kat hospital. Tapi nape ayah tak bagitau wani langsung?? Sbb wani tgh final? Ayah risau wani tak bole jawab sbb tensen? Wani lagi risau kalau something bad happen to you suddenly but i know nothing. Exam tu lantak la tolak tepi sat. Yg penting wani tau ayah camane. Sihat ke sakit ke. Ya Allah..janganlah kau beri ujian yg berat pd ayahku. Sembuhkanlah dia ya Allah. Wani tak sanggup tengok ayah makin lame makin lemah. Balik keje sampai tertidor dalam kete lepas sampai umah. Naik atas terus tdor. Dgn sakit kepalanye. Wani kesian tengok ayah makan nasik sikit je,macam bg baby makan.Makan sume kne jage. Tak bole dah nak makan manis2,masin pun kne kawal. Td wani rase sup oat ayah,yucks,sangat2 tak sedap. Tapi tu la yg ayah terpaksa makan. Mak terpaksa halang ayah makan makanan yg kitorang makan. Sampai kdg2 kne sorok2 makan. Takut ayah teringin. Kesian ayah. He loose all the kind of food he likes before and now have to get use to new kind of food which i'm definitely sure doesn't suit his taste.

Wani tau ayah makin lame makin tua. Sikit je lagi nak jejak angka 50. Wani tau,makin lame tubuh ayah makin lemah. Wani tau makin hari ayah makin tak berdaya. Wani sedar sume tuh. Tapi kalau boleh Ya Allah,biarlah wani sempat banggekan ayah. Biarlah ayah sempat tengok wani genggam segulung ijazah sbb wani tau,itulah harapan ayah dari mula2 dia hantar wani masuk sekolah dulu. Biarlah die sempat ada cucu. Biarlah die sempat hidup berehat bersenang-lenang tanpa perlu pergi ke sekolah tiap2 hari mengajar dan bermesyuarat sana sini. Biar wani yg tanggung ayah nanti,biar wani penuhi setiap keinginan dia. Sbb selama ni die da penuhi setiap keinginan wani.

Guys,even ayah garang,even ayah tak mesra mcm mak kita,even ayah jarang bermanje dgn kita,tp sebenarnye,die paling sayang kita. I can see all that in my father. Eventhough he never says that to me,but his body language and gasteur prove it all. Dad never say NO each time i ask something from him. He always try to help no matter what. And for that,I LOVE YOU so much that. Even i always make trouble,the one who always fight your word,make u worried,and so on,but deep inside my heart,i can't live without u. My life will be so dull without u. You give me a life. You give me strength. You always there for me. N most of all,you give me LOVE. No man can ever replace your place in my heart. Even you are not the most loving father in the world,but you are the best father in my heart.

Ayah,akak harap ayah boleh terus sihat utk kami. Akak harap ayah boleh tolong jaga badan ayah,jaga makan minum ayah,utk kami terus menumpang kasih sayang ayah. Tak perlu ayah belikan kami barang mahal2,cukup sekadar ayah ada di samping kami utk mengisi hari2 kami,utk melindung kami,utk mendidik kami. Ayah kne kuat utk kami. Sbb kami tak kuat tanpa ayah. Kami sume risaukan ayah. N kami sume sayangkan ayah.

* tears rolling down my cheek sometimes when i'm typing this. he is such a great man to me.n i can't loose him. the last thing i want in this world is to see my parents walk away from my life,forever.

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