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Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Fatherphobic

Hai guys. Wanna talk bout father-phobic(actually I create this word by myself ok). Okey please ignore my grammar coz my grammar sucks so there will be many grammar mistakes in my typing. Yeah cuz I don’t get band 6 for MUET last year lol. Besides,if we wanna expert in something,we have to learn,and in order to learn,we have to make mistakes. Right? Okei enough with the craps.

First question,do you have a father?Or a daddy?Or ayah?Or abi?Or papa?(sounds like bf-gf who call each other papa-mama yucks!) No matter which words u use to call ur father,everyone MUST have a father right? Eventhough he no longer here with us or have been separated with ur mother or u don’t even know your father but still,without ur father sperm u all will never be here to read this. HAHA.
Nevermind. I have a father. He is a teacher. He teach Bahasa Melayu. But my BM still sucks but I got A+ for Bahasa Melayu in SPM ok.(show off) I have this kind of disease which I call as father-phobic. Phobic comes from the word phobia which means afraid of something. So father-phobic means afraid of our own father. Yeah babe n dude. That’s what I mean.

I’m quite jealous with my friends who have a great relationship with his/her father. Means they can hug or kiss their father before going to somewhere,or ask their father for something like “ayah,akak nak beli hp baru boleh x?boleh la ek.hp akak dh old design lah” and daddy will say “boleh syg.nanti ayah belikan k”..oh no shit. Jealous derr. I can’t even ask for some pocket money to my father because of my father-phobic disease I have since I was 9. LOL.

Since my father became a dicipline teacher at SMK Slim during 1997 I guest coz that time we moved to the teacher’s quarters there,I’ve labelled my father as ‘garang’. He became the most feared teacher at that time. Most of the students there will quickly run away when run into him. Imagine,only because he(referred to the student) didn’t say ’assalamualaikum cikgu’ when ran into my father,my father slapped his face. Arggh this incident happened right in front of my eyes and I was just ‘ha????garangnyer bapak aku’.

When my father became my class teacher in 2005 when I was in Form 1,he still ‘garang’ and like to shout to student who make mistakes.  But his voice,really make me scared. I don’t know why even I live with hearing his voice for about 19 years now but I still feel scared when he mad.  If my classmates didn’t bring the books he wants us to bring that day,automatically we will be punished by ‘ketuk ketampi 20 times’ or standing outside the class or ‘jalan itik’ OMG we were in Form 1 at that time but the punishment was like we were in standard 3. Huhu. And till now,my ex classmate labelled him as ‘garang’ including my boyfie. He still scared with my dad and so nervous when meet him. HAHA poor you.

Back to the main topic,father-phobic,you guys know what,till now if I wanna ask for something from him,my mum will be the middle-person(sorry guys I don’t know ‘org tengah’ in English so I just translate it bulat2 kih2). And I never talk to him personally if I have problems or something and I will NEVER do that coz I’m so afraid of him. HUHU. But,he was the most loving father and the BEST father for me. Even he ‘garang’,’cenge’,or whatever,HE gave me what I want even I’m not ask it from him. He was the one who motivated me when I down,when I feel stressed facing my exam,when my exam’s result was not like what I expected,when I feel like nobody cares. He was the one who smiles cheerfully when I got my first big exam result,UPSR,when I was listed as 6 students who scores 5A in my primary school. He was the one who bought me a bicycle when I got first place in my class while I’m in Standard 2. He was the one who hug and kiss me when I scored 7A’s in my PMR eventhough I got B for my Kemahiran Hidup’s subject(wth lah KH dpt B) LOL. He was the one who standing besides the stages snapping my pictures during my PESTA PANTUN DAERAH competition and proud of his only daughter(at that time) when I finally qualified to PESTA PANTUN NEGERI as we won the district challenge. And last but not least,he was the one who became a great FATHER in my life.

Eventhough I have the father-phobic disease,eventhough I can’t hug u or chat with u every night,eventhough u never tell me some bedtime stories during my childhood,eventhough u never kiss my forehead every night before sleep,but you are the one who brought me into this world,and you are the one who never give up raising a stubborn and cute girl like me. HAHA. Adeess,abis suda feeling sentap. But nevermind,the main point I write this is because,I LOVE MY FATHER. And the father-phobic in myself,is not an obstacle for me to love you as my father.
Love your father and be thankful to ALLAH for your life. 

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