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Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Happy Mother's Day, mum.

Throughout my life, my mum had done so many things for me. She bought me my first handphone, which I want it so badly after my UPSR result. She bought me my first face washer, when acne started to attack my skin. She taught me how to wear a pad, when I first hit my menstrual cycle. she was there with me, all of the time. She was the one who catch me when I’m falling, when I’m crying in the middle of the night for a high fever I had. 

When I was 13, my dad send me to a boarding school. That was the first time I ever separated with my family. And I still remember one night, after night PREP session, I called my mum using the public phone, and I’m crying in the phone, told my mum how I hate being there, I hate everything there. I force my mum to tell my dad that I wanna go home, I don’t want to be there. My mum was very patient with me, she hear all my complaint, all my disagreement, all that I needed. And the next day, my dad send me a diary (my dad was a teacher there). When I opened that diary, the first word I see is my mum handwriting, “anakku, bersabarlah, ada hikmahnya untuk apa yang berlaku hari ini. Kesusahan hari ini adalah untuk kesenangan hari esok.”

My mum gave me that diary, so that I could write anything in there, anything that I had to talk about. And for years, I kept writing in that diary, all my painful and sweet memories during school years, my first love, my exam result, my bestfriends and my enemy at school, everything I wrote it there. My mum give me a life, she was there for me all of the time, she is everything I needed the most in this world.

Until now, believe it or not, my mum is the one who pack my clothes when I want to return to university, and she also will be the one who unpack my beg when I return home. She is the one whom I call when I don’t know how to use the washing machine in my “rumah sewa”, when I don’t know how many water I should put in the rice cooker, when I don’t know how to open a sardine can. Yes that is my mum, always do everything for me all these while, that now I’m not able to do anything by myself. I am a very spoiled daughter. I don’t even know how to cook anything until now. 

my bestfriend ever

My mum told everyone during the ‘merisik’ proses lately, ‘all these while, she was just taught me how to be a good daughter and a good student, and she’s not yet teach me how to be a wife.’ I agreed with my mum, but sampai bila aku harus mcm ni? Sampai bila aku nak terus bergantung pada mak and ayah dalam semua benda? i always try to learn to cook, to clean the house, but I can’t. I can’t make myself better, when I have everything. My mum was a great teacher, but she is my MUM. A mum who loves her daughter too much, and maybe it’s time for me to learn for myself, to be a woman instead of being a girl. My mum gives me everything a daughter needed, she gives up her own life taking care of ours. She spend most of her time for her childrens, she is the best mum in the world and would always be. 

 my precious family

To my mum, Puan Fairos binti Baharun. 

You are a gift, you’re a gift I never dreamed I could want or need, and every day I will show you that you’re a gift that I deserved. You make me the best person I could ever hope to be, and I want to spend and learn the rest of my life loving you and take care of you. This is my promise, thank you so much for being my mum. I love you so much than you could ever imagine. 

i love you so much mum

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