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Monday, August 5, 2013

wedding jitters

guys, my wedding day is just around the corner. it's only less than two weeks left!
and seriously, i'm kind of having a pre-wedding jitters.
it's like having a cold feet, for any bride or groom before their actual wedding.

i'm being mad at my fiancee for no reasons, or for a very stupid reason.
like I asked him to buy me some topup, and he said nanti petang, coz dia nak tidur jap. while me, being so mean just throw my anger to him! and later that evening, he bought me that topup, and I'm not replying to any of his messages and not even a single thanks! 

God I am so in a mess right now.
tudung x cari lagi, baju nikah pun x siap lg padahal lg 4 hari kami akan menikah. 
seriously, not that I dream of a perfect wedding, but yeah, of course every girl want her wedding to be perfect and smooth! 

x nak la jd runaway bride pulak nanti kan. huhuh.
tapi seriously, the tensed is getting higher when the date is coming real soon.
I should just be happy knowing that I'm gonna marry the man whom I really love but somehow, I kind of having second thoughts.
I wonder what my life would be after this marriage, and how hard would it be. 
and then I wonder, what if I am not getting married? would I lose him forever? could we wait another 4 or 5 years to be together?
that kind of thought just pop out in my mind and it makes me nuts.

but somehow, at the very least, the fact that after this I would have someone to share my whole life with, and the fact that we love each other and would do anything to save this relationship, overcome all these negative thinking that I had.
three awesome years together made me realize what I really want in this life.
someone who could accept me the way I am, and is willing to be patient and spend his whole life with a girl like me, make me realize of what I have right now. 
and I would not trade that with anything else in this world.

satu masa dulu, when I was in high school, I wonder who in this world would want to marry me? or takkan ada seorang lelaki pun nak kat aku nanti. I'm afraid kalau2 mmg x kan ada seorang pun berkenan kat aku, boleh tahan dgn sikap dan perangai aku, and paling penting, boleh terima aku seadanya. 

but alhamdulillah, I found him.

we are getting married, 4 days from now. and this was the greatest gift ever.
looking at our names in the wedding card, make me realize that our dream is finally come true.
a few years back we used to promise each other, that one day, I'll be his wife and he'll be my husband.
and thanks Allah, it finally happens.

jemput datang. :)

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